Honestly, it hasn't been a good morning. It's been a frustrating ride. Communicating, bad roads, unsure. What am I unsure of? I'm unsure of this day. Some days don't seem like they have any point. That's negative, and I should take advantage of canceled plans.
I'm unsure of my direction. I'm not really sure what I'm doing, or where I should go. What is the right way? Why do I have to figure this out on my own? Can't I just do it tomorrow....
I can see what I want to accomplish. I would like to be a working musician who fills rooms and works with the best producers, duets with artists I admire, reaching out to millions who understand and help them feel secure. I can see this. I can feel this. But it feels like it gets further and further away from me...how do I pull it back? I'm swimming in a shark tank with a r=ton of other people trying to do the same thing. So what makes me so special.
And then my thoughts go to, "Well, that's not the point, is it. The point is to just keep doing it, no competition, that's your new york city mind thinking. Just think for yourself." Just think for yourself. Easier said than done when you get pulled in a million directions or not enough. It's enough to make you start drinking...now. I'm unsure of how I will survive, money wise, health wise. I know that somehow someway, I always figure it out. We all do. I mean, we've all made it this far right?
My advice of the day is to simplify. To take time for yourself. To make sure you are happy within yourself before doing anything.
"Baby, I'm a lost cause"
More importantly, go read this article about my sisters boyfriend who is way more positive than me right now! ttp://www.cancerresearch.org/our-strategy-impact/people-behind-the-progress/patients/kevin-lankes (copy and paste because I haven't figured out how to make a link)